i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
