the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
