I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
