If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
