so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
