He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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