you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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