So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
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