I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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