Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
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worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
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Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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