he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
