I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
