So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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