never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
