I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
