Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
high people should be assigned attendants
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
