Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
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You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Success! We fucked roommates!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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