Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
