R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize