We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
