I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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