he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
