And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
