Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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