We're like a lot better than the average bears
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
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