But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
