My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
