I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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