ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
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