Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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