She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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