More tranny stories later!
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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