Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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