he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
