that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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