Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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