On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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