So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
