Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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