What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
