if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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