Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
