So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
