Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
