I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
if i died would you start the facebook group?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize
