You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
