I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
