I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
