Swine flu. Run for my life!
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize