went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize