hotel room ftw
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
