I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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