You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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