Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
