It's like God shit irony all over that family
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
